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Week 15 Countdown to Kickoff: Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans

This is your four hour warning.

Houston Texans v New York Giants
Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

::presses play::

(Muzak plays)

Good morning guys and gals and non-binary pals and welcome to Week 15 of the NFL season. Today, your Houston Texans are at home to take on one of the best teams in football, the Kansas City Chiefs.

As you may or may not have noticed, or cared, I am not currently here at the moment and can’t come to the comments section as I am currently staying at my ancestral home in Atascocita for the holidays. However, much like Santa, I see you when you’re sleeping, I know when you’re awake and I know when you’ve been bad or good on this site.

Did that sound weird and creepy? It sounded weird and creepy. Anyway, also like Santa, I travel around, as any reasonable blogger would, with the Internet Krampus at my side. So whenever someone causes trouble around the holidays, I send Krampus to the offending person so that he can communicate in a meaningful dialogue with them, including hitting that person with a stick.

As for me, I will actually be at NRG Stadium for the game with my family. So if you see me, come on down and say hi; or “what the hell happened to Matt Weston?” That works too.

I...really don’t know where to go from here so I’ll just say welcome to week 15, it gets better from here, I promise [Citation Needed], and if you feel like putting your money where your mouth is, here are my picks for the Sunday slate, brought to you by DraftKings Sportsbook.

For entertainment purposes only. Please do not take financial advice from a football blog. Although I went 10-3 against the spread last week, and SB Nation still has not delivered my new car for being the best pick maker for week 14, please remember that past performance is not an indicator of future results.

Enjoy the game, y’all.

Go Texans.