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In the 20 year history of the old-Houston team vs. the new-Houston team rivalry, there have been a lot of strange and (at times) ugly matchups. Yet, you would have a harder time finding a stranger, uglier version that ended in such dramatic fashion. A game delayed for one hour to try to relieve the pressure of a Tennessee power grid facing unexpected pressures. Arguably the coldest day in the lives of all the players on the field. A game where Derrick Henry rushes for over 125 yards, and it feels like a major victory for the Houston run defense. Davis Mills with his first come-from-behind fourth quarter comeback win. A game where the Titans had a puncher’s chance with a Hail Mary. All of that equates to the Houston Texans’ second win of the season, third straight division road game win (last season @ Jacksonville, earlier this season @ Jacksonville), as well as second straight win @ Nashville.
Whether you are happy that the Texans stuck it to the hated BE-SFs of the vile Adams clan or ticked that the Texans could not lock up the #1 pick in the 2023 draft, you have to admit that it was nice for some of the young guys to get a payoff for their hard work after just missing the past two weeks. It doesn’t make up for a season of bad football, nor for the need for massive coaching and personnel changes, but for one day, the Texans were actually better than someone else. A nice holiday present.
As always, your Battle Red Masthead followed the events of this matchup in real-time, and have the requisite real-time takes. We continue our usual practice of editing out questionable words with the Battle Red Standard of [KITTEN], which should allow you to read this without too many issues at the family get-togethers. Although, the fact that you are a Texans fan might be enough for your extended family to consider you a degenerate relative to not invite you back for next year (whether that is a good thing or not is up to you).
With that, on with Holiday ‘Dog:
l4blitzer
Our D is bad enough at tackling Derrick Henry in regular conditions, but dealing with him in this type of weather…Ouch Time!
vballretired
On this Christmas Eve we remind you about Bartesian. When you are watching your 1-12-1 team take on another possible playoff team you need to drink and drink often. Bartesian mixes up to 50 different cocktails flawlessly. We remind all of our readers not to drive or use power tools while enjoying Bartesian.
l4blitzer
One hour delay…should do more wonders for the Texans run _efense…especially thinking about trying to tackle Henry in the cold, dark 4th quarter
Oh, and proof that things are really not good in New England:
Patrick
Oh my [Durga] yes, bring him home, New England.
Or don’t, and let Alabama suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous derpitude.
Either suits me.
l4blitzer
Eh, Cardinals fire Kingsberry, Saban hires him…latest offensive coach reclamation project
vballretired
Let him become the head coach at Jackson State. It’s a natural fit.
O’Brien in Jackson St. kinsbury actually oddly fits in Alabama
Patrick
A flinty, hardscrabble Boston Irishman deep in the south at a HBCU? That’s a sitcom right there.
l4blitzer
No, Jackson State has not offended anyone that badly. Let’s not inflict that evil on them
vballretired
I agree with Patrick. It’s a Hard Knocks waiting to happen.
l4blitzer
It would be a sequel to Joe Moorhead’s 2 years at Mississippi State
vballretired
Maybe give him a whacky former racist as a coordinator and an inept DC like Jim Eddy or one of the Ryans.
In all seriousness it looks like Sean Payton wants to team with Vic Fangio. Any bets on where they wind up?
l4blitzer
If the Cowboys don’t get to at least the NFC Championship, you have to figure Jerruh will put on a full-court press to get him
vballretired
I’m thinking the Los Angeles Chargers are a strong possibility
l4blitzer
That could be dangerously good. Make the Kansas City Chiefs-LA Chargers tilts even more bonkers with Reid vs Payton
Patrick
He’s gotta be licking his chops at Arizona, right?
l4blitzer
Any gouge out there on what he thinks about Kyler Murray?
vballretired
I don’t think he hitches his wagon to Murray
[KITTEN], he’d more likely want to go here than there.
And I don’t think he remotely wants to come here
Apparently this Payton to Houston thing has legs. Tiny legs, but legs.
l4blitzer
Don’t want to start buying into it, ‘cause when has Houston ever done the obviously smart thing?
vballretired
It would supposedly involve a first rounder going the other way (for whoever gets him)
l4blitzer
Well, this is likely a deal breaker, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing Houston has done with a 1st round pick
vballretired
Nah, depending on which one I’d do it. If we could give them Cleveland’s 2024 pick Id make that deal right now
Patrick
If they hired Sean Payton I’d do a friggin’ backflip.
I’d be in traction through the offseason but I’d do a backflip.
vballretired
Nah, paralysis isn’t worth it
It’s game time boys. Titans get ball
Patrick
Okay, showtime.
l4blitzer
Texans _efense with a chance to excel early
TEN POSSESSION
Patrick
Pitre getting an early start this morning.
vballretired
Wow. Actual defense
That’s a three and out and a sack
Patrick
A lot of actual defense.
l4blitzer
Hmmm…guess the Texans finally figured out that you might want to stop Henry and force 3rd and long…
vballretired
Titans actually lead league with 50 three and outs. I would have bet hard cash we led in that category
HOU POSSESSION
Patrick
We probably would if it weren’t for turnovers.
vballretired
Backhanded compliments are great
Patrick
I gotta be me.
Well the offense is at least living up to expectations.
vballretired
Why is Cooks playing?
Patrick
He just wants to win, that’s why.
vballretired
Intended for Phil Grass
l4blitzer
Our 3 and out was better…didn’t lose yards
TEN POSSESSION
vballretired
I feel our offensive ranking going down to 35th following this game. There have to be three defunct franchises better than us
l4blitzer
Our ranking gets worse if you include USFL and other leagues
vballretired
Sure, let’s go with that
Patrick
Imagine this defense with the Houston Roughnecks offense.
vballretired
Pj Walker baby
Ok that looks familiar
Patrick
I feel like someone should’ve been flagged for early movement there.
I’m not sure which side but someone moved early.
vballretired
Flag on the play
Illegal formation
l4blitzer
Aww…the BE-SF with the early Xmas gift
vballretired
Owens with a tackle inside of ten yards
Go for it you cowards
That’s a coach that knows what he’s doing
Hahahahahahaha
What run defense there
Patrick
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh...
DERRICK HENRY WITH THE USUAL 48 TD RUN: BE-SF 7 - HOU 0; 8:48, 1st
l4blitzer
It would seem Henry is on pace for the usual 200 yds against us…again
vballretired
Bears winning 10-6. If they beat the Bills we can clinch the number one pick before the end of the day.
l4blitzer
Uh…yeah…???
vballretired
A loss guarantees number two at worst.
Patrick
HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
Not quite 48 yards for Freeman
Driskel/Driscoll with some key playing time
l4blitzer
Ware really wants that pass to Driskel when he is split out wide
vballretired
First down!
Patrick
Davis Mills looked so excited on that first down. Good for him.
Gentlemen, merry Tex-mas to us all.
vballretired
Tytus Howard down
Patrick
Oh, wonderful.
Guess better now, if it has to happen, when the stakes are in the dirt.
vballretired
Mr. December with a catch
l4blitzer
Just saw where Nashville has a balmy windchill of 12 (above). We are at 5 (above) here.
vballretired
Driskel with a catch!
Patrick
GLORY TO ALL QUARTERBACK OFFENSE!
l4blitzer
Ware is a happy man. “Using some imagination”
vballretired
Akins wasn’t open. He was lost.
Patrick
He should be lost more often.
l4blitzer
[Insert Obligatory “Matriculating the ball down the field” line]
vballretired
I say let them go off one one at a time and see how long it takes Lovie to notice.
Patrick
I have a feeling the words “done for the year” will be appearing by Tytus Howard’s name by day’s end.
vballretired
Nah they will announce that Wednesday
l4blitzer
Mills in the film review: See, I prevented a pick-six. Never mind the open Moore…I stopped a pick six with the inaccurate throw
Patrick
Yes, because you want to use a time out with less than three minutes left in the first.
vballretired
Oh great Burkhead!
Patrick
“Too inaccurate to throw interceptions” is a [KITTEN] of a choice to add to your resume
What exactly do we call this?
vballretired
It won’t stand
Patrick
And that’s not going to count either.
vballretired
It stands. What the [KITTEN]?
TEXANS WITH THEIR VERSION OF THE HOLY ROLLER, BURKHEAD WITH THE FUMBLE RECOVERY OF THE MILLS FUMBLE AFTER THE 5 YARD SCRAMBLE; TIED AT 7; 2:34, 1ST.
Patrick
Holy [KITTEN] it counts.
If we somehow win by a touchdown, Tennessee is going to be furious and this will be the best game of the season.
vballretired
That touchdown was the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen from play call to execution.
END OF 1st: TIED AT 7; HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
Give the man a five year extension
l4blitzer
I think the Texans D was fired up by Johnny Harris’ sideline rant. Another 3 and out.
vballretired
Howard in concussion protocol
l4blitzer
Henry up to 69 yards. On pace for approx 240 yards rushing.
SECOND QUARTER
l4blitzer
MOAR BE-SF XMAS GIFTS
Patrick
Mills and Driskel/coll should tag each other when they switch.
vballretired
Pile driver? Full Nelson?
l4blitzer
Driskel passing the ball. Not bad.
Patrick
I’ll be [KITTEN]ed.
No, THEY’LL be [KITTEN]ed.
l4blitzer
Apparently Houston returning one of the Titans’ gift.
That’ll do to Moore, but apparently missed Dorsett open
vballretired
This game is off to such a predictable start. Somehow we are stupidly in this game.
Chicago losing. [Kitten]it
Patrick
I don’t think anyone predicted that fumbledown earlier though.
vballretired
The odds on that prop bet…
l4blitzer
We predicted stupidity, but you just don’t know what the stupidity will look like.
vballretired
Right now it looks like competence
l4blitzer
Textbook Texans Red Zone play by Mills
vballretired
Ah the obligatory Burkhead screen
Patrick
Go for it you cowards.
l4blitzer
Burkhead spinning at the speed of a sundial.
vballretired
It’s a 10-7 lead.
Patrick
They should make Fairbairn an emergency third quarterback so we can really have an all quarterback offense.
PRO BOWL ALTERNATE FAIRBAIRN WITH THE 25 YARD FG: CURRENT H-TOWN 10 - OLD H-TOWN 7; 6:50, 2ND
vballretired
I’ve done that spin in the Galleria to avoid fellow shoppers
Patrick
Yikes, you’re a braver man than me going to the Galleria.
vballretired
Our daughter made a special request so she could go ice skating
Patrick
We’re all in agreement the dad in that Sonic ad is the stupidest human being on the planet, right?
Or he’s Wimpy from the Popeye cartoons.
vballretired
Nah the guy on the sofa next Pathew Pafford
Patrick
I think he just has brain damage. Like serious, saw [KITTEN] in Iraq, levels of brain damage.
l4blitzer
Patriots gettin’ blanked. Belichick will hire BO’B by the 4th quarter
BE-SF POSSESSION
vballretired
I still remember the thick headed guy
Patrick
Who was that?
Greenard!
vballretired
It was an A&W commercial. He was the same guy from those old State Farm ads that wanted the creamy Brûlée
Patrick
Oh right, I remember now.
l4blitzer
At this point, the Texans should just sell out to stop Henry. If Willis passes for 200 yards, so be it.
vballretired
That’s a face mask
Patrick
Wow, holding on the tacks.
vballretired
Really not a penalty in that one?
Patrick
It didn’t look like he grabbed it, he just got a hand out.
l4blitzer
Titans really want that prime-time Week 18 NBC game against JAX. Winner-take-all
vballretired
Saints tied with Cleveland
HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
Ok. That looks more familiar
l4blitzer
Houston Texans 2022: Two yards forward, three yards back
Patrick
They’re daring Driskel to throw.
vballretired
Three and out
l4blitzer
Mills to Cooks: The incompetent to the discontented.
vballretired
And it didn’t work. Shocking.
DERRICK HENRYS POSSESSION
Patrick
Lovie, I know what you’re thinking and don’t do it.
They’re gonna Earl Campbell him into an early professional grave, aren’t they?
TWO MINUTE WARNING
vballretired
Two minute warning. Primed for a Henry 75 yard TD run
l4blitzer
Welp, Henry is at 74 right now. Maybe we can derail the 200 yard train…maybe?
Patrick
You mean he’ll have to settle for a 150-yard day instead?
l4blitzer
The Texans would Gatorade Lovie if we end up with that defensive performance
That’s more within Owens’ tackling range
Patrick
Best. Tackler. On. The. Team.
l4blitzer
Can the Texans keep Henry under 100 for the half now?
vballretired
Can we celebrate a halftime tie?
Patrick
It’s Christmas, so sure, why not.
vballretired
[KITTEN] kittening Oilers
Patrick
Did...did the ref freeze in place there?
vballretired
Beaten with wet noodle?
Another TFL
Kenneth L.
Good to see Greenard
vballretired
Saints ahead!
Kenneth L.
Their offense sucks
LETS GO SAINTS
Patrick
Geaux Saints indeed.
vballretired
Kenneth L.
Lol
l4blitzer
Titans with another Xmas gift to the Texans (False Start)
vballretired
Gosh these teams suck
Boy their offense sucks other than Henry
Patrick
Underwhelming is probably how I’d put it.
l4blitzer
Houston didn’t have to use a TO before the 4th down play. Probably will still be a kneel down, but still…
Patrick
They’re gonna take a knee aren’t they?
HOU POSSESSION
HALFTIME: TEXANS 10 - TITANS/EX-OILERS/FOREVER BE-SFs 7
vballretired
Okay, so the scoreboard says we are up 10-7. In a season where Lovie has practiced the voodoo witchcraft keeping games closer than they should be, this one takes the cake. I have no idea how we are leading at this point.
Patrick
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Mattress Mack Gallery Furniture ad! [DURGA][KITTEN] Mattress Mack looks like he opened the ark of the covenant these days.
l4blitzer
The Texans have slightly derailed Derrick Henry’s 200 yards rushing a game against Houston average. Otherwise, this game is about what you would expect of two teams with a combined 13 game losing streak between them playing in the coldest weather many of these players have ever experienced.
Detroit’s rush defense is making ours look like the 2000 Ravens. 266 rushing yards allowed to Carolina and they are barely into the 4th.
Patrick
Woof.
Kenneth L.
I can’t tell if Daniel Jones is HIM or not
vballretired
Maybe the Powerpuff Girls version of HIM
SECOND HALF/3RD QUARTER
vballretired
Shudder….should Driskel play more?….shudder
Patrick
Not in the red zone.
HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
Unspellable and Howard out
l4blitzer
Apparently, Mills might not be the QB for inside or outside the Red Zone
vballretired
Cooks makes a fair catch on the throw-punt
l4blitzer
Oh, NOW that connection wants to work.
Patrick
LOL, how do they keep making these dumb[KITTEN] throws work?
vballretired
Intended for Stanley Sideline
l4blitzer
Not the worst throw he could have made there.
vballretired
Cooks with second catch
l4blitzer
Ware in pure bliss with the hitch route descriptions
Kenneth L.
Why is Charlie heck starting?
vballretired
He’s all that’s left
Clutch fourth down call there from Pep
Kenneth L.
[KITTEN]
That didn’t work
BE-SF STOP THE DRISKEL/DISCROLL SNEAK: BE-SFs POSSESSION
Patrick
Tytus Howard got hurt.
vballretired
Straight line speed is nice, but you need to be capable of a football move
Kenneth L.
Giants are tragic
Oh shoot
vballretired
Unspellable is also out
Quiorituano
See I spelled it wrong
Patrick
But how do I know you didn’t do it on purpose to make the point?
vballretired
You don’t
Patrick
Hmmmmm, well played sir.
l4blitzer
Malik Collins: The “Vending Machine” (per Vandermeer)
vballretired
Willis with a first down run
Patrick
I need to get back to boxing.
vballretired
That’s more like it
Wow that was competitive run defense there
Patrick
That was holding [KITTEN].
Kenneth L.
[KITTEN] Greenard read it right
l4blitzer
So, we will stop Henry, but still allow everyone else to run the ball…sounds about right.
vballretired
Pitre made the tackle sort of
l4blitzer
Ok…now, we are back to allowing Henry to run the ball.
vballretired
Hahahahahahahahahaha
Patrick
E-[KITTEN]ing-gad that was trash.
vballretired
Man the un efense is great
Kenneth L.
Pitre looks horrific
Get him off the field
vballretired
Nah, let’s see how he reacts
Kenneth L.
That was his reaction.
Patrick
He has to learn or he’s going to keep letting that happen.
This feels normal.
vballretired
My feed just froze
THE STARTING QB FOR THE DERRICK HENRYS SHOWS HE CAN ALSO RUN WITH THE 14 YARD TD SCRAMBLE; DERRICK HENRYS 14 - TEAM W/2 BAD QBS ON THE FIELD AT THE SAME TIME 10; 8:51, 3RD
Patrick
Now I’m just a simple country billing associate but I have to ask if it’s possible to get both Driskel and Mills on the field at quarterback.
vballretired
Wasn’t that a bad Arnold movie?
Patrick
That’s a long list, you might want to be more specific.
vballretired
True Lies
HOU POSSESSION
l4blitzer
It seems like Houston is thhhiiiissss close to breaking a return for a score.
Patrick
First of all that’s a great Arnold movie and second yes, I can see it like that.
vballretired
Ok, looking like a three and out
The weekly Tunsil false start
l4blitzer
Tunsil with a Pro Bowl Starter-level False Start
Patrick
Okay kids, say thank you to Laremy for his weekly dumb[KITTEN] false start penalty.
vballretired
Hahagagagahshagaga
Interception. Now that’s clutch
Kenneth L.
I hate laremy
Ughhhhhh
Patrick
This game is proof that you CAN go home again.
Kenneth L.
I hate mills
MILLS WITH HIS FIRST INT OF THE DAY; DERRICK HENRYS POSSESSION
vballretired
Tied with Matt Ryan for league lead. Congratulations Davis!
Kenneth L.
That okay was comical
Patrick
Let’s be honest, it was coming no matter what, the only question was when it would happen.
vballretired
The key is always the clutch moment
Kenneth L.
Atta boy Harris
vballretired
Nice stop by the defense
Wow they are going for it
Patrick
Maybe it’s just me but the BESFs’ player numbers all look like Cyrillic characters right now.
l4blitzer
Willis with some sympathy throwing there.
Patrick
I swear 61 looks like the Russian letter for the hard e sound.
DERRICK HENRYS WITH THREE STRAIGHT INCOMPLETIONS; HOU POSSESSION
vballretired
I’m not your friend buddy
Patrick
61 = Ы
vballretired
I’m not your buddy guy
Patrick
Are any of y’all not country music fans and if you’re not are y’all at all interested in that George Jones/Tammy Wynette show?
Because Mrs. UT is interested and neither of us could give one tenth of a [KITTEN] about country music.
vballretired
Not a fan and not interested
l4blitzer
Not a George Jones fan.
vballretired
That was a pathetic possession by the Titans
l4blitzer
Titans to Texans “Anything you can do, I can do better”
Three yards forward, Three yards back
Patrick
And not for nothing but Michael Shannon is [KITTEN]ing terrifying in anything he does.
He just looks like he could [KITTEN] you up for looking at him funny.
I’m sure he’s a lovely person but [KITTEN] he looks intimidating.
l4blitzer
This game is the live action interpretive dance of “Ugly-Ball”
Kenneth L.
Brandon Jones showing that DAWG
vballretired
Seeing Carolina actually win games with no discernable talent proves it’s possible.
TEN POSSESSION
vballretired
Patrick
They keep cutting to the Vikings/Giants game and the screen is such that I’m having a hard time telling which team is which.
Halle-[KITTEN]-lujah.
l4blitzer
ALERT: We are under 4 minutes in the 3rd quarter, and the Texans have only now given up 100 yards to Derrick Henry
vballretired
Yeah, on pace to give up 200 total but not to Henry. Progress?
l4blitzer
Take any wins you can with this team
HOU POSSESSION
Patrick
vballretired
That was the most hilarious looking pass ever
l4blitzer
“….and he throws…liiikkkeee UGLY-BALL!!!” (To the theme from Thunderball)
Kenneth L.
The browns are 6-9. Nice
Patrick
The more I watch Davis Mills, the more I feel like he got treated like the biggest nerd in his high school.
vballretired
The throw five yards out of bounds is the kind of throw you’d expect from a 7B QB
Patrick
Like I expected that BESF to give him a wedgie right there.
vballretired
That one intended for Minute Bol
Patrick
Technically, since Manute Bol is dead, any ball that hits the turf can be considered a pass for Manute Bol.
This is canon.
Kenneth L.
Jimmy Morrissey is bad.
l4blitzer
At this point, the only way we can advance the ball is to use the Mills-fumble-rooski with some Texans player ready and able to recover said fumble down the field.
Kenneth L.
Do I need to say more?
vballretired
Ok is George Muresan still with us?
TEN POSSESSION
Patrick
CBS has to be so happy that they reserved Rams and Broncos as their flagship game for Christmas Day, right?
I think so.
Yep, still alive, and living his life, Durga love him.
vballretired
Are there any games really worth it.
Kenneth L.
Okur Pitre
Patrick
Chiefs/Bills maybe but that’s probably the end of the list.
vballretired
They ain’t playing this week
Patrick
I know, but that’s probably the only game that would be worth watching on Christmas.
I know I’d pull myself away from my nephew and nieces to watch that game.
vballretired
I’ve seen worse games than this one but not many
Patrick
Of course you have, you’re a Texans fan.
vballretired
You got me there
My wife watched a live Saints game under Dikta where they didn’t have a first down until the third quarter
Patrick
Yuck!
vballretired
So it’s all relative I guess
Patrick
Mrs. UT is a relatively recent Saints convert. Since before the Saints won the SB, but that’s mostly because she loooooooooooves Drew Brees.
vballretired
We have a fumble
Patrick
I’ll be [DURGA][KITTEN]ed.
Kenneth L.
Wow what a game winner in the giants game
Patrick
What happened? I didn’t get to see it.
Kenneth L.
Who is Hansen
Patrick
I don’t know but he earned a bonus there.
Kenneth L.
15 yard screen to lead to a 61 yard game winner
I HATE MILLS
vballretired
Undrafted free agent
Nice throw
Cooks with his third catch
Morrissey has to go out. Popcorn vendor taking his spot
Matriculating down the field
Kenneth L.
Fantastic running
Patrick
Oooooooh, Davis Mills has a whopping 104 yards passing on the day.
Kenneth L.
Yeet yah
vballretired
And more than the Titans
This Titans team is pure kittens
Kenneth L.
Really bad route running
vballretired
Can I laugh now? A pass to Burkhead doesn’t work. Shocking.
Patrick
Permission granted
vballretired
Ok Titans need to put this game away.
Fairbairn FG is good. BESFs lead 14-13.
Patrick
Ughhhhhhhhh...
vballretired
Dr. Pepper deserves better than that.
Which team sucks worse?
This is absolutely pathetic
Kenneth L.
We need a bunch of these 6-8 teams to win
vballretired
Mr. December with a catch
We are going to screw around and win
Patrick
If it’s a win against the flaming thumbtacks, I’ll allow it.
vballretired
Touchdown Cooks pending penalty
It counts! MILLS TO COOKS FOR THE TEXANS TOUCHDOWN: TEXANS LEAD 19-14 AFTER FAILED 2-PT CONVERSION
Kenneth L.
DAVIS MILLS. DAWG
this won’t go well
Called it
vballretired
Ok, setting up for the Titans go ahead score
Patrick
Welp, it was a nice dream while it lasted.
vballretired
Here it comes
Patrick
That was intentional grounding, dammit.
vballretired
Yeah
I love how they make fanning difficult
178 yards rushing for the Titans
TWO MINUTE WARNING
vballretired
Oh my Durga it’s a pick by Harris!
Kenneth L.
LETS RIDE
HARRIS
HAHAHAHAHAH
MUAGAHAAH
TEHEHEEHE
LM[K]O
Patrick
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow
vballretired
Ok, gotta lose to Jacktown next week
Patrick
First ever pick for Christian Harris.
Kenneth L.
NO FACEMASK!!!
Patrick
Is Christian Harris the reason this defense has turned around in recent weeks?
vballretired
He should get out of DAL for linebackers according to PFF
Kenneth L.
Horse[KITTEN]
vballretired
Driskelcat
Kenneth L.
I agree to punt
vballretired
Yeah
Nice special teams
Kenneth L.
Malik Collins needs another contract. He’s all we got
BESFs POSSESSION
Patrick
Aw [KITTEN].
Kenneth L.
This is a disaster
We are going to flub this aren’t we
Patrick
That was really [KITTEN]ing stupid Greenard.
Of course.
Kenneth L.
Om[k][d]
Patrick
Five seconds left so there’s a hope in [KITTEN].
What. Now.
Kenneth L.
We won!
Patrick
WE WON! WEWONWEWONWEWONWEWONWEWONWEWONWEWONWEWONWEWONOM[D]OM[D]OM[D]OM[D]OM[D]WT[K]BBQ!
vballretired
Pitre and Harris making key plays. We need the Bears to win one of these last two.
TEXANS WIN (Yes you read that right) 19-14!
Patrick
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
vballretired
I wouldn’t say we won as much as the Titans lost but it counts as a W either way.
Patrick
At this point, I’ll take it. We [KITTEN]ed with the BESFs’ playoff hopes!
vballretired
Yeah I suppose. The problem is we might fritter away the first pick
Patrick
Merry Tex-Mas everyone.
We still have a game and a half lead on the Bears with two games left. Do you see us beating the Colts or Jags at this point?
vballretired
Jags no, Colts yes
If we reach three wins they get the pick due to the tie
GAME BALLS: Well, combine a Texans win with Christmas Eve, and you can imagine that there are game-balls a plenty to hand-out:
- Davis Mills: While he is not one to usually receive these, the fact that he lead the Texans to a comeback victory in the fourth quarter, his first as a pro, in tough conditions, must be fully acknowledged. That doesn’t change the fact that he isn’t the long-term answer for this team, but he earned props for his performance today.
- The Texans DL: Usually not seen as a strength of this team, the D-Line did their job today. They helped limit Derrick Henry to ONLY 126 yards (from a back that averages over 210 yards/game against this team in his last last four matchups) and made some highlight-reel worthy tackles for loss against the monster back. They also pressured rookie Mallik Willis into 4 sacks and made his day as a starter a rather rough one.
- Jalen Pitre: Another pick for the rookie safety and the leading tackler for the team on this day. Pitre demonstrated some of the most effective torpedo tackles of Derrick Henry I have ever seen. There are still plenty of areas for the rookie to work on, but he is on his way to being one of the best second round picks in team history.
SHOULD BE FORCED TO DRINK WATERED-DOWN EGGNOG SPIKED WITH FAKE MOONSHINE WHILE CLEANING UP THE BARS ALONG MUSIC ROW:
- Laremy Tunsil. Odd to say for a Pro Bowl starting LT who went another game without giving up a sack (still only charged with 1.0 sack on the season). Yet, for all the good the guy is providing this lost team, Tunsil still managed to get flagged for his one false start/week. It was on a second-half third down, which really doesn’t help. The team won, but you expect better from arguably the best player on the Texans.
- The Titans Coaching Staff: How did this team, which is now in a dog-fight with JACKSONVILLE, yes, JACKSONVILLE, for control of the AFC South, drop this one? Yes, Henry fumbled in the 4th quarter, but only 23 rushes? Apparently they thought that they could outsmart Houston, but Willis is not ready to take on that kind of burden. On a day when the temps begged the Titans to unleash Henry, who would be the equivalent of a steel bowling ball launched through a super-conducting super-collider, more than the 30+ carries he got in Houston, the Titans couldn’t do it. Yes, they have their share of injuries, but if the BE-SFs view themselves as a playoff team, you can’t lose to Houston on your home turf, when you know that the Texans have the worst run D in the NFL. That they did in the way they did, they are absolutely deserving of the scorn the local and national media will heap upon the coaches and leadership of the team.
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