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The season is still very, very young. 3 games does not a season make. That being said, you can start to see a few trends among teams in the start of a season. For the Texans, we are starting to learn a few things....some good, some not. For the good, some of the younger players are playing to their promise. The defense can make a few plays from time to time. The team has entered the 4th quarter of every single game either leading or tied. The bad: the team seems to be well-prepared and competitive for 3 quarters, but that pesky 4th quarter is proving problematic. Outscored 30-0 in three games. Not great. This is not helped by the struggles of Davis Mills and the offense writ large in the 4th. The defense is competent, but they are not anywhere close enough to win games by themselves.
The game against the Bears was very winnable. Yet, the Texans lost their second straight game of 2022, and their second straight game against Chicago overall. As you can imagine, your Battle Red Blog Masthead had a few thoughts on the game. Here we offer a look into our take on this game, classic TV shows, NFL history and the quality, or lack thereof, of some types of whiskey/bourbon. In the classic tradition of HOTD, all swear words have been replaced by [KITTEN] to match pre-2020 (and possibly post-2020, maybe) office decorum.
With that, on to the ‘Dog:
vballretired
The excitement is just dripping off this matchup.
corydlg
Was that stat 25% on 3rd down
vballretired
That’s what they said
l4blitzer
Yep, gonna be must see TV…whether it is a quality matchup or a comedy of errors…TBD.
Patrick
::monkey’s paw curls::
Dress rehearsal for Hell, boys.
vballretired
An auspicious beginning
Patrick
Okay, I will say hurdling that lineman was pretty great.
vballretired
Nice play by King or really bad execution?
Patrick
Yes.
vballretired
Lots of crappy matchups in the league today
Patrick
LOL, this [KITTEN]ing defense.
bigfatdrunk
No pass rush. Pathetic.
[Bears possession]
vballretired
Classic battle of four bad units colliding at the speed of molassces in January.
corydlg
Hey a 4th down!
Patrick
So we’ve watched one series with Justin Fields now, we’re now officially experts, is Justin Fields actually bad?
corydlg
Yeah, all jokes aside, they should have concerns about him. It’s been a rough start for him
vballretired
The closer you look the worse it gets
However, their handling of him has been borderline criminal
[Santos open scoring with a 47 yard FG: Bears 3 - Texans 0; 11:22 1st]
[Texans possession]
Patrick
Trainers out looking at Quessenberry.
vballretired
Not good
l4blitzer
Speculation about being poked in the eye, so hopefully not a long-term issue
Patrick
Now...he was covered Davis, why you throwing to a covered receiver?
vballretired
Another three and out…actually ninth by my count if you count the four and out at the end of last week.
So, one third of your possessions end in three and out. That’s good right?
l4blitzer
Another reminder about the 25% 3rd down conversion rate.
[Bears possession]
l4blitzer
…and we have our first Eric M***y sighting
vballretired
Shhh
Patrick
::points to the “NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS WHEN ERIC MURRAY IS ON THE FIELD” sign::
l4blitzer
Hmmm…might want to think about defending the end-around. Those can work from time to time.
vballretired
Nice pass attempt there.
I’m looking forward to updates and Alcoa You Make the Call commercials
l4blitzer
Offsetting roughing the passer and intentional grounding…and you wonder why these teams are leading contenders for the #1 pick in the draft.
Patrick
Needs to be funnier.
Levy
Hello boys
Bears offense looks consistent so far
Patrick
Hiya Levy
l4blitzer
Give it time. The best slapstick acts take a little time to warm up.
vballretired
That pass from Fields reminded me of a Billy Joe Tolliver effort where he fell on his butt and threw it in the flat.
Patrick
“So Help Me Todd” coming soon to a cancelation near you.
l4blitzer
A Billy Joe Tolliver Reference…now that’s a name I’ve not heard in a very, very long time. Long time
vballretired
Maybe it will run on Freevee
bigfatdrunk
Owens with the tackle, AND THAT IS WHY YOUR SAFETY LEADING THE TEAM IN TACKLES IS A BAD THING OM[KD] LOLOL LM[K]O.
Patrick
Oh my [KITTEN]ing [DURGA], this defense is all butt.
vballretired
Maybe give away the first pick on a reverse Q rating sort of deal. Our winless team has to suck more than the other winless teams.
bigfatdrunk
Grape job, D.
l4blitzer
Commentators noting the soft defense. They speak truth
Patrick
The Texans have the So Help Me Todd of defenses.
vballretired
The rushing yard differential stat is alive and kicking
[11 yard TD Run by Herbert: Da Bears 10 - Duh Texans 0; 6:45 1st Qtr]
vballretired
Do we score in double digits today?
l4blitzer
You presume that we will actually score?
That’s nice. The Chiefs allowed the Ponies to get a 7-0 lead.
Patrick
Blind squirrels and acorns.
l4blitzer
I guess the bigger challenge is will the Texans allow the Astros to outscore them again…at least from last night’s bonkers total (11)
vballretired
Blind pig, mud
[Texans Possession]
corydlg
Come on Collins
vballretired
Wow that was wide open
Derp
Patrick
[KITTEN], Howard’s slow getting up.
Pierce is fun to watch run. I will say that.
Levy
good offensive drive
l4blitzer
Good bounce back from Pierce after the fumble.
vballretired
Touchdown!
Levy
and he just fumbled my [DURGA] all mighty
Patrick
[KITTEN] of a catch by Akins there.
[4 yard TD pass to Akins. Fightin’ Halases 10 - Fightin’ McNairs 7; 3:40 1st Qtr]
Levy
Ooooo what a catch!!
I forgot Akins was resigned woahhh
goo team
vballretired
That drive actually looked good
Levy
It looked smooth
Also - have I told y’all I HATE Texas Longhorn football?
Patrick
I’m not sure I believe you.
vballretired
The Frogs won the Iron Skillet, UT and Oklahoma lost. I’m already running on house money.
Levy
About the hatred or the smoothness of a Davis Mills drive?
[Bears Possession]
Patrick
The hatred. The smoothness is obviously just a drug hallucination.
Pitre!
vballretired
Pitre with a pick. Nod to Patrick on that pick in fantasy
Levy
haha
Patrick
What could they possibly be reviewing on that?
vballretired
He dropped it after making a football move
Patrick
Aw [KITTEN], nevermind that’s not going to count.
Levy
The Texas longhorns.... I’m just jaded. Everything hurts so often. And the Alumni association out here is blech. I really want to take it over but i know fans will only show up if they win if it happens
vballretired
Ah kittens
Levy
I think that was a catch
Patrick
Wow, we kept it!
vballretired
This has the look of one of those “look how great Mills is” games
[Pitre with his 1st interception in the NFL. Texans withstand the review process; 2:46 1st Qtr; Texans’ 3rd Possession]
Levy
yeah man not going to complain haha
l4blitzer
Hey, this completing forward passes thing is kinda cool…let’s keep at it.
vballretired
Never mind
Patrick
OH. MY. [DURGA].
[Mills with his 1st Interception of the year; Bears start at 20 yard line; 4th Possession; 0:45 1st Qtr]
Patrick
Does either team want to win this game? Or do they think this game has golf rules to it?
Levy
That sucks
[l4blitzer] you [kitten] jinxed that dude
l4blitzer
Mills forget the part of the script where he is supposed to throw TDs to TEs only. WRs to move the ball down the field, TEs to score the TDs.
vballretired
Well, the equivalent would be 300 yard drive, approach green side, chilly dip, three put, double bogey
l4blitzer
Not my fault that Mills was too locked in on the WR there.
vballretired
You mean we can’t actually blame you?
[End of 1st Quarter]
Patrick
Look, we’re not saying it’s your fault, we’re saying we blame you for it.
l4blitzer
Irrational blame…alrighty then.
Patrick
If we were rational we would not be watching the Texans right now.
l4blitzer
All too true….all too true.
vballretired
Depends on our other TV viewing habits. It might make perfect sense if we had a bigger picture.
Patrick
Lately all I’ve been watching is British panel shows and Iron Chef reruns.
l4blitzer
A Jerry Hughes sighting. Cool
vballretired
I mean, someone watching a steady diet of McMillan and Wife. Quincy M.E., or Matlock would be expected to absorb Texans football.
l4blitzer
What, no Kojak?
[Texans possession]
vballretired
Maybe Banacek
Levy
Gawd they suck hahah
vballretired
That’s not what I watch now but I’ve dabbled occasionally
Patrick
It’s definitely not for Kojak fans. Because what’s the big catchphrase everyone remembers from that show? “Who loves you, baby?” And if there’s anything I’ve learned from watching this team for half my life is that they do not love us, baby.
l4blitzer
Maybe if the Texans threw in some Tootise Pops
vballretired
Perfect third down call. Short pass to Burkhead. That’s a great call to one of the worst playmakers in football.
Patrick
Just Cal McNair hanging out at the grill with a grape tootsie pop dangling from his mo—I have to go. ::runs to bathroom::
l4blitzer
GLORY TO ALL DEFENSIVE PENALTY OFFENSE!!!!
vballretired
Cal desperately wants to keep Daniel Snyder in the NFL
It will keep the heat off
[Editor’s Note: We apologize for the reference about Cal McNair and Tootise Pops. We recommend Pepto Bismol or some sodium bicarbonate]
[Bears Possession]
vballretired
Tums is better.
Levy
I honestly can’t tell when Davis Mills will complete a pass
Patrick
I’m not sure he does either.
vballretired
I have no idea. I just a video and online warnings.
bigfatdrunk
Watching the Texans and Longhorns try to tackle on back to back days is...upsetting.
Levy
When I watch QBs and I cant see the receiver, I pride myself in knowing by the throwing motion if it’s a catch or not
Levy
With Mills, I truly can’t tell
bigfatdrunk
Good kitten, Bears, grow a pair.
vballretired
Nice to see the Bears not even try
[Texans Possession]
vballretired
Touchdown!
l4blitzer
Two of them…is that possible…allowed?
bigfatdrunk
Pierce is going to be great once he has a QB that isn’t kitten.
uhh Joe
Texans are looking better!
Patrick
We...we lead?
bigfatdrunk
Pierce is going to be great once he has a QB that isn’t kitten.
uhh Joe
Very yes
Patrick
We can do that?
vballretired
This has the look of a pyrite game
uhh Joe
We leed!!!
[Pierce logs 1st NFL TD: Texans 14 - Bears 10; 7:32 2nd Qtr]
bigfatdrunk
Pyrite game. Perfect.
vballretired
12 carries for 66 yards
Levy
TOUCHDOWN BABYTT
That’s a good YAC
vballretired
Fool’s gold for those that don’t remember high school science
Levy
lmao Colts playing Sweet Caroline on their own one yard line
And they are in shotgun
Okay [KITTEN] me they got 30 yards on the first play
vballretired
The Bears are just a bad team.
l4blitzer
You may start the dueling chants: Bears: We Suck!!!; Texans: We Suck More!!!!; Bears: No we Suck More; Texans: NO, WE SUCK MORE!!!…(repeat for 5-10 minutes)
[Bears Possession]
Patrick
How, I repeat, how, do you have that open a blind angle, unguarded and still completely whiff on the sack?!
l4blitzer
The Buffalo Bills Pass Rush from the 2019 Wild Card Game has entered the chat
vballretired
Is that like the new Miller Lite chant? “Beer flavored….Water….Beer flavored….water” repeat as needed
l4blitzer
Works for me.
bigfatdrunk
Owens with another tackles...7 yards down the field!
vballretired
I thought that was Pitre
bigfatdrunk
1st down run. Sorry.
l4blitzer
Owens trying to channel his inner Dick Butkus
Patrick
Hey, it’s almost the end of the half and we haven’t trotted out Jeff Driskel for poorly established reasons.
vballretired
Please let Fields keep passing
Patrick
TIL the NFL has an official invisible braces partner.
[2 minute warning]
Patrick
Boom, sacked the [KITTEN] out of him.
vballretired
Boy that was rough
Someone perfected the look-out block
l4blitzer
Bears with 161 yards on the ground. George Halas would be so proud…at least until he saw the scoreboard.
Jerry Hughes has returned to the chat
vballretired
Another one of those games where the loser really has to hang their head in shame
[Santos continues his streak of not kicking a “Double Doink” for the Bears; 50 yard FG; HOU 14- CHI 13; 1:48 2nd]
Patrick
Is Pierce already going to the locker room?
bigfatdrunk
Mills is trying to 2-yard pass his way down the field.
[Bears Possession]
bigfatdrunk
Davis Mills is so kittening bad.
Owens with another tackle 13 yards down the field.
vballretired
I go to the bathroom and miss a three and out?
bigfatdrunk
Ah, I guess not.
Patrick
Would you say you “missed it” though?
bigfatdrunk
If you poop during this game, you might miss a quarter.
l4blitzer
“Ball was quackin’ its way to Mooney” “It was a change-up pitch”…insightful commentary about Fields’ passing
Patrick
Which is weird because this game has felt really slow today.
vballretired
That’s more of a personal thing
Patrick
BFD, see a doctor, would you? Jeez.
vballretired
I don’t get this play calling
Patrick
Love seeing Jerry Hughes do a safety dance despite being a solid 20 yards away from the end zone.
bigfatdrunk
Two kitteny teams with kitteny coaching.
[Halftime: Thank (insert deity/spiritual entity here). HOU 14-CHI 13]
HALFTIME REACTIONS
Patrick
It’s like someone made a game using a formula of mayonnaise combined with human [KITTEN]. Two awful tastes that taste worse together!
vballretired
Pierce keeps looking better each week. I guess that has got to be the one positive takeaway. Mills is having another one of those games. He looks great at times and then awful. The defense looks about the same. There are great plays interspersed with horrible ones. There’s just very little consistency on either side of the ball.
Patrick
Yeah, Pierce has been fun to watch. The rest of the game, however...
vballretired
I’m a fan of mayo myself
Patrick
You’re fired.
(not really)
vballretired
I’d already be fired from my own family
l4blitzer
Dec 31 1988. On that date, a playoff game between the Eagles and the Bears was obscured by perhaps the densest fog to ever hit a sporting event. There was no legitimate way to watch the game on TV (or even in the stands). Apparently, the Bears won that game 20-12. Based on what we are seeing in this game, the fans on that day were truly the lucky ones.
vballretired
Titans beating Raiders convincingly. Perhaps LV going all in this season is similar to going all in on a jack high hand.
bigfatdrunk
I remember that game! That was so much fun.
vballretired
Randal Cunningham was fun to watch
bigfatdrunk
Thoughts: I cannot wait to grab a QB in the 1st round in 2023. No more freaking Davis Mills, for kitten’s sake.
vballretired
The living motto for the remainder of the season: “Davis Mills: better than Justin Fields and Trey Lance.”
Patrick
Jesus, Tua took a [KITTEN] of a hit during the Dolphins game, I don’t know if y’all saw it or not.
bigfatdrunk
Also, it’s funny how we have the D team calling this game.
vballretired
James Lofton isn’t C team material?
bigfatdrunk
No. He was such a great WR, though. Boldin in his prime good.
vballretired
Oh I remember him well
bigfatdrunk
That was for the kids.
Patrick
Thanks Grandpa.
vballretired
Tell me what Don Hutson was like Grandpa?
bigfatdrunk
Mills is going to get Cooks killed.
Cook Cooks.
Oh, Burkhead. Great idea.
Patrick
Go for it you cowards.
[TEXANS PUNT, BEARS BALL]
bigfatdrunk
Let’s see if he snaps the ball.
LOLOLOLOL COWARDS.
vballretired
Burkhead ranks lower than Pierce in rushing, blocking, and receiving, but he has a 70.5 grade on his beard according to PFF so there’s that.
They said “well groomed with excellent coverage. Plus, the distinction with the bald heads really sets it off well.”
Patrick
Did they grade Lovie’s beard?
vballretired
I think only players unfortunately
Patrick
Boooooooooo.
vballretired
It’s Chris Collensworth. What do you expect?
Patrick
Derek Stingley saved the touchdown.
vballretired
Bears over 200 yards rushing. We just entered the third quarter
bigfatdrunk
Owens with another tackle 15 yards down the field. HE LEADS THE TEAM!!!
Patrick
If you gave me that much space in the middle of the field, I could probably get a first down. I would die immediately upon being tackled but I might have enough time to get the first down.
vballretired
Pitre with a sack
I think that sentiment describes most of us Patrick
[Bears with rushing touchdown. Bears lead 20-17.]
vballretired
241 yards rushing for the Bears. That’s with a quarter and a half of football left
Patrick
That’s bad, right?
vballretired
That’s with knowing that is literally all they can do effectively
Patrick
Answer the question!
[TEXANS POSSESSION]
vballretired
Yeah, I’d say that’s bad
Patrick
Because it seems bad.
l4blitzer
Are we sure the ghost of George Halas isn’t calling the plays for the Bears?
bigfatdrunk
The whole offense lining up outside is stupid as kitten.
vballretired
Anyone see anyone that looked good in the “amateur” games on Saturday?
Patrick
Hey, we haven’t seen Driskel in yet, maybe we’re lear—nope.
bigfatdrunk
The Bears have one decent player on defense, and he just defenestrated Pierce.
vballretired
He was smoked on that one
bigfatdrunk
Mills can’t even throw a checkdown accurately.
vballretired
It’s like watching 1960s football or Technobowl with Bo Jackson
Patrick
GO FOR IT YOU COWARDS.
bigfatdrunk
Wow.
Patrick
See? Good things happen when you go for it.
vballretired
Fake punt!!!!!
bigfatdrunk
Great play design.
l4blitzer
Wait, you can execute those…and THEY CAN WORK???
Well, we did get rid of that Justin Reid punk, so that is probably why.
bigfatdrunk
Why are they giving our receivers 10 yards of cushion?
Patrick
This is one of those moments where you can appreciate having an actual coach designing plays instead of whatever the [KITTEN] we’ve had the last decade or so.
Because Davis Mills is throwing to them. I’d feel secure too.
l4blitzer
That’s nice BFD that you think that only the Texans are capable of dumb football, and that other teams will actually play smart.
vballretired
We are just used to outdumbing the opponent
Why hasn’t Dorsett been used before now?
l4blitzer
See previous statement about “outdumbing”
vballretired
The bearded back on a short pass
Handoff to Burkhead. Why?
Patrick
Because we can’t make it easy for ourselves.
vballretired
Predictable play. Predictable outcome.
bigfatdrunk
Kitten, not Green.
[KITTEN]
Patrick
Aw [DURGA][KITTEN].
vballretired
Seeing Justin McRay and Charlie Heck on the field made me throw up in my mouth a little.
uhh Joe
Couldn’t punch it in, again!
These past three games have been about field goals instead of touchdowns
bigfatdrunk
Welp, we hit 20 points this game. Hooray?
Patrick
Our high-water mark on the season.
[Fairbairn continuing to be the #1 Texans’ offensive weapon: 23 yard FG: HOU 20 - CHI 20…not a score we have seen at any time this season…nope, totally not ever seen in 2022.; 0:54 3rd quarter]
vballretired — Today at 3:15 PM
0-1-2 just feels oh so right
l4blitzer
If we used the point system from professional soccer, the Texans would have 2 points for the season
vballretired
Hahahahahaha that pass hahahahaha
bigfatdrunk
Throws like that by Fields, I mean, I was throwing that sort of pass on the street when I was like 8. How do you miss it that badly???
Patrick
If we had the system they use in professional soccer, we’d have been relegated ages ago.
vballretired
Hockey then
corydlg
How does either team have 290 yards though. True question...
l4blitzer
Bears: Your top two rushers are averaging over 9 yards a carry…and you want to pass the football…sorry, channel the inner Red Grange…run it.
vballretired
Crazy Legs Hirsch
[End of the 3rd Quarter: Is the universe going to give us another tie? HOU -20 CHI - 20]
corydlg
Such a bad bad bad throw from Fields
vballretired
Has football gotten this bad? We are three games in, playing like this, and we have a chance to win.
Patrick
Oh yeah.
[Pitre gets INT #2 on the season. Why did the Bears pass??? Anyway, Texans possession]
Patrick
Well that was stupid.
vballretired
That was a very unfortunate series of plays there
Patrick
Kenyon Green back in the game.
bigfatdrunk
Do you have to dumb down the playbook more for Fields or for Mills?
[Texans waste the INT; Chicago possession]
vballretired
Fields. Mills reminds me of the backup QB from Necessary Roughness
l4blitzer
Where’s Robert Loggia when you need him?
Patrick
Oh, you mean Popke? I just wish Justin Fields had that scared, break-y voice under center.
vballretired
Blow the whistle. Blow the whistle. Blow the GD whistle!
l4blitzer
Hmmm…the Bears realize they can run the football still. If they even think about throwing a pass in the quarter, they need to fire the coaching staff NOW!
Patrick
This defense can be so painful to watch sometimes. It makes me feel alive.
vballretired
“Before we win games we have to stop losing games.” Boy howdy, I love coachspeak
l4blitzer
The Texans making someone feel alive? That’s a new one. Your logic why is sound, but hadn’t heard that in a long time.
bigfatdrunk
Owens with yet another tackle 15+ yards down the field.
Patrick
Kind of my homage to Big Matt. It feels like the kind of thing he’d say.
l4blitzer
Oh, now we give Fields confidence throwing the football.
Patrick
“Snap infraction?” That’s a new one on me.
vballretired
Absolutely kitteny football
bigfatdrunk
Jeez, that’s not close, Lovie.
vballretired
Listen to Lofton, knee down and then fumbles. Close?
Patrick
This challenge brought to you by Bill O’Brien Football Consultant Services and Soft Serve.
l4blitzer
Welp, nice to see that our 4th quarter execution is playing exactly to standards ::takes another shot of Jim Bean:: (not going to waste Jack Daniels on this game).
We lost the challenge…shocking
vballretired
Well if you’re going to go bad whiskey then go all the way with Southern Comfort
l4blitzer
Ah yes…I do have that in reserve. Hoped to put that behind me from 2020-21…but it may have to make a return.
Patrick
If it weren’t too early in the day for them and too late in the game for them to be effective, I’d be hitting the edibles right now.
[Editor’s Note: Please don’t drink and drive. Use a designated driver]
vballretired
Jim Bean is actually mediocre
corydlg
16 men on the field? How many yards is that?
l4blitzer
We actually got a run stop?
vballretired
[reply to corydlg] 30
bigfatdrunk
First penalty for the Texans, but we still look like kitten? Amazing.
vballretired
Come on. No confidence in your QB to convert?
l4blitzer
All in favor of the Texans’ execution in the 4th quarter?
vballretired
Nah, let’s see how this works out for them Cotton
bigfatdrunk
Frankly? I’m rooting for the tie.
Patrick
There should be a sliding penalty/bonus for the number of men on the field you come out with. Like you can come out with 12 men on the field but you have to add another couple of yards for difficulty. Same thing with too few men, then you can move up a yard or two.
That would be hilarious.
l4blitzer
This game is turning out just as dumb as we could have hoped.
vballretired
I could see the old Chiefs with the center and Christian Okoye
But it’s close and dumb I guess
[Bears Punt, and the Texans get it right back]
bigfatdrunk
THEY HAD IT IN THEIR [KITTEN]ING HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
corydlg
Sssooo execution?
Patrick
Oh, it’s the fourth quarter. Time for our offense to transform from a pumpkin to a butternut squash.
vballretired
Hahahahahagahahaha
bigfatdrunk
Major hold.
l4blitzer
Do the Bears have money on getting a tie? Do the Texans have money on a second one?
Patrick
Jesus, we don’t even have the D team camera crew for this game.
vballretired
You can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind.
bigfatdrunk
Tunsil was holding most of that play.
vballretired
Well kittens
Patrick
A CHUM? A Rex Burkhead CHUM?
vballretired
All Burkhead all the time
l4blitzer
There is no escape from the CHUM
Patrick
A Rex Burkhead CHUM deep in your own territory?
l4blitzer
The CHUM is all season, all purpose
Patrick
Third and I give up.
bigfatdrunk
Davis Mills has never met a play in which he wouldn’t opt for the checkdown.
vballretired
Hahahahaha, more Burkhead
Nice special teams tackle there
bigfatdrunk
Owens with another tackle after a 15+ yard gain. I think that’s at least four.
[The Texans do not score yet again in the 4th Quarter, and punt again…we know, you’re as surprised as we are. Bears possession]
vballretired
Go for 300
Patrick
How many points have we scored in the fourth so far this year? Three points?
l4blitzer
The single game record is still 295 (yards), right? I bring this up for no reason whatsoever.
vballretired
So three second half point?
Jalen Pitre! Holy kittens
l4blitzer
We are still 0-fer for points in the 4th quarter. The FG was in the 3rd against Denver (edited)
Patrick
I thought we scored a field goal against the Broncos in the fourth, though?
vballretired
Ok, turning snark off for a minute, we have some good-looking young players. We just obviously need more.
Patrick
Yeah, I’m still on the fence about Stingley but I think Pierce, Green, and Pitre are going to be fun to watch at least.
[Two minute warning.]
vballretired
Playing for the tie
Patrick
And Durga bless them for it.
vballretired
Tie looking more likely
[Bears punt; Houston will try to drive down the field for the win…in theory]
Patrick
Aw [KITTEN], we’re not getting the tie!
bigfatdrunk
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
vballretired
Hahahahahagagahafagagalololol
Patrick
Yeah, I think I’m getting [KITTEN]ed up after the game.
uhh Joe
NOOOOO
[Davis Mills with INT #2 on the day…Bears with the ball]
vballretired — Yesterday at 3:55 PM
And who was the intended receiver? If you guessed Burkhead give yourself a gold star
uhh Joe
I can’t believe I got my hopes up again
l4blitzer
Getting hopes up only to break ‘em??? That’s one of the mantras for the Texans since 2002.
vballretired
Hey we played to keep it close and have a chance to win….come on shank. Come on shank
l4blitzer
“Double Doink Part Deux???”
Patrick
Joe, remember our motto: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
Yup.
l4blitzer
Dante: “Hey, that’s my line…oh, wait…no, I see what you mean…I’m good.”
Patrick
vballretired
Watching games with no expectations is so freeing
[Santos mercifully ends this game w/a 30 yard FG: CHI 23 - HOU 20]
Patrick
Look at Fields getting congratulated like he had anything to do with the Bears winning.
vballretired
Cue the Mills apologists in three, two, one
Colts ahead
l4blitzer
Time to start the Kyle Allen chants?
Patrick
I’m going full hipster and starting Jeff Driskel chants.
bigfatdrunk
Davis Mills leading the Texans to a whopping 16.3 points/game. We haven’t even played a good defense yet.
vballretired
You heard why the hipster burned himself with coffee right?
l4blitzer
Texans in the 4th quarter: Opponents 30 - Houston 0
vballretired
He drank it before it was cool
Patrick
Boooooooooooooo.
vballretired
I’m a dad. I have to have dad jokes
Patrick
I’ll allow it.
bigfatdrunk
The Davis Mills apologists really have their work cut out for them this week.
Patrick
“But he threw for 245 yards! That’s a good day at the office! He threw with intentionality and matriculated things down field and everything!”
vballretired
Seriously, I guess you continue with him because what is the option? Kyle Allen is perfectly mediocre I guess but…
Colts win and Titans should win
Patrick
The Colts just beat the [DURGA][KITTEN] Chiefs.
l4blitzer
CJ Stroud, Bryce Young, Will Levis…all sorts of those names.
vballretired
Is Richardson a possibility?
Patrick
I think Justin Fields might be the first quarterback who will actually hurt the draft stock of a college player simply because he played for the same school. Because after watching this, I’m less excited about CJ Stroud simply because he plays for the same school Fields did.
vballretired
Miami about to kitten the bed
Maybe. How much of that is Fields and how much is Chicago?
GAME BALLS: Probably obvious to most who watched the game, but have to go with Jalen Pitre for a game ball. When you log 2 INTs and a sack in only your second NFL game, you clearly are in the running for rookie/defender of the week, to say nothing about the vaunted HOTD game ball designation. Unfortunately, his two INTs did not lead to points (more on that in a minute). We will also throw one towards Jerry Hughes with 2 more sacks. Nice rebound for this wayward free agent.
SPENT THE POSTGAME CLEANING OUT THE CHICAGO STOCKYARDS AS PENANCE: Davis Mills. While he did have 245 yards passing and a TD. He threw his 1st 2 INTs of the season, including the game-breaking one deep in Texans territory. While deflected, he gets charged with it. Oh, and those two INTs from Pitre...the Texans turned those into exactly ZERO points. One 3 and out, and one terrible red zone pass from Mills that was the 1st INT. Perhaps QBs get too much blame, and there is plenty to go around. However, if Mills ever wants to be the “Man” at QB, he has to produce in the 4th quarter in competitive games. All 3 games this season were winnable. That the Texans didn’t is as much on Mills’ ineffective play as anything. Also, the run defense should join him, as they allowed Chicago to run as if Red Grange, Gale Sayers and Walter Payton were taking the handoffs, as opposed to Khalil Herbert.
So it goes for the Week 3 HOTD. Next week, we will have our takes on Houston facing the San Diego LA Chargers. Perhaps it will be a better game. Maybe the Texans might actually score a 4th quarter point? No promises, but we will tune in to find out.
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