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Bleach Social: Where Are You Watching Super Bowl LIII?

What are your plans for the BIG GAME?

Indianapolis Colts v Houston Texans Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images

I assume people my age are getting married and having babies. I am not. While they are dragging around their progeny to show off, I am instead getting ready for THE BIG GAME by making a giant bowl of chili, which I too will be showing off and taking somewhere. Awww, look at how tasty he is!

For the Super Bowl, I’ll be going over to a friend’s house with a slow cooked concoction of fatty pork, fatty beef, beans, hot sauce, corn, and whatever else, topped with cheese, sour cream, and hot sauce, along with some kombucha, and maybe some beet chips. It’s still early in the year. I still have some hopes and dreams until the summer comes around and breaks my heart again.

Once there, I’ll hate the commercials, feel disgusting rooting for Tom Brady, maybe smoke a single cigarette (who knows?), drink some coffee, watch the interior of the Patriots’ offensive line against Aaron Donald and Ndamukong Suh, and watch how the Patriots’ linebackers deal with the Rams’ play action and outside zone run game. That’s my plan.

Anyways, what about you? What are you cooking up? Did you place any bets? Which trough are you going to slather around in with the other hogs? Is there some yearly tradition you have to celebrate the most American of all days?

Whatever your plans, let us know in the Comments. If you’re watching the Super Bowl and still trying to figure out what you’re going to do, or if you’ll be a stranger in a strange land looking for somewhere to catch the game, pose any queries here; someone might have a suggestion for you. Similarly, if you’ve got a worthy spot staked out somewhere and want to clue fellow Texans fans in to it, please divulge that information in the Comments as well.