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Houston Texans Hire Dylan Thompson As Character Coach

YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHO HE KNEW THAT SURELY HELPED HIM GET THIS JOB!

Reese’s Senior Bowl Photo by Don Juan Moore/Getty Images

Thanks goodness. We hadn’t had a terrifying example of Jack Easterby’s contemptible and expansive influence on the Houston Texans in (checks watch) almost three minutes. Fortunately, the Fightin’ Easterbys came to the rescue with a news bulletin that they’ve hired a character coach.

You already knew this next part without reading it, but I’m going to include it anyway for the sake of the archives.

But wait! It gets worse!

Like many of you, I was hopeful that Nick Caserio’s arrival would extinguish, or at least diminish, the scope of Jack Easterby’s sway over the Texans. When the Texans are hiring a character coach, much less a character coach with a direct connection to Easterby, it’s apparent those hopes have been dashed upon the rocks. This is Jack Easterby’s franchise until further notice.