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Saturday Night’s Alright For Commenting: 9/1/18

Take off your pants and jacket. It’s S.N.O.T. time.

Foxes in a Snow Field in Miyagi Photo by Matt Roberts/Getty Images

Two weeks ago or so a band, I didn’t really like all that much came out with a new album. That band is Foxing. Their previous albums were super slow, super long, and just bored me. There were some bright spots here and there, but I was never fully for it. Predominately, it’s because I wasn’t in that head space of being sad, loving someone who doesn’t love me, and all of those sorts of happy things. Then Foxing released two incredible singles and I was all in. Then this actual thing dropped, and it’s so good that I no longer hate the St. Louis Cardinals, Johnathan Franzen, or David Freese. All because of this band from the Midwest.

The entire album is theatrical. It’s filled with screams, strings, breakdowns, crescendos, and haunting laughter in the background. It makes me feel strange. It makes me feel like the gates of hell are opening up and the world is coming to a close. It makes me feel like Brand New’s Science Fiction made me feel last summer.

The best part about the album isn’t even that strange sample of dread. It’s that each song has a moment that just rips your eyebrows off and leaves you slapping the pavement on nighttime walks or gives you some middle of the desert-wandering vision.

Grand Paradise has this little quiet spot right before the drop, right before the song sets song on fire with a classic I’M SHOCKED AND COLLARED AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN. The last minute and a half of the song is my favorite minute and a half of music I’ve ever listened to.

Slapstick has all these little ooaahhss that make me dance to a song that shouldn’t make me dance.

Lich Prince makes me want to play “Heroes of Might” and “Magic” and talk myself into wanting something I don’t want. The bass on this song plops.

The end of Gameshark makes me see flames of red, bats flurrying, and a skeleton army. All setting the sun on a song that starts with a R&Bish beginning. Also, “dizygotic” is a great word.

Nearer My God is a ballad about wanting to actually make money doing this whole music thing. To be America’s pool boy the crown centerfold is perfect. Also, that outro. Phew.

Five Cups leaves me closing my eyes and dreaming of falling asleep at afternoon red lights.

Heartbeats is even more R&Bish than Gameshark, and drags some, but it’s a conclusion to the previous song, where he decides, yeah, I guess I’ll keep on living.

Trapped In Dillards is a post-modern version of The Smashing Pumpkins’ 1979. Now I envision purgatory being a Dillard’s that lasts for infinity. Pregnant ex-girlfriends are a great character in any song.

Bastardizer is a crooning ballad that is just some good, old bearded indie rock. This song just hurts my feelings, too. Some boys grow up to be awful men.

Crown Candy is one of the three OMG songs on the album. It flips the idea of being in love with someone. Devoting your life to them is beautiful partly because you are alive for only a finite amount of time and you choose to spend that time with that person. Then it takes its head and spins it around. The first time, and every other time for that matter, I hear the verse flip from the lead singer to haunting skeleton band slays me.

I Won’t Drown has the word all sung at a high pitch better than I’ve ever heard that word ever be said. This is also the best song to run to when you are on like Mile 6.5 of a 8 mile run while training for the Space Force and you’re just a puddle.

Lambert is the most The National song I’ve ever heard from a band that isn’t The National. Describing your loved ones as an Invisible Fence is perfect.

Listen to it, or don’t, but you should. If you don’t like it, listen to it again until you like it. And if you do like it, Foxing is going to be in Texas not this week, but next week. My heart’s broken. I’ll be in Canada when they’re in Texas.

Anyways, that’s all I got. Sound off in the comments below to discuss whatever’s on your mind, Texans-related or not. Just remember the standard commenting rules apply.