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Three and Out: Seahawks-Texans Predictions

The Battle Red Blog staff gathers to predict the Week 14 contest between the Seattle Seahawks and the Houston Texans from NRG Stadium.

NFL: New York Jets at Houston Texans
Here we see David Johnson patiently waiting to be tackled
Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Two bad teams will face off Sunday at NRG Stadium, but the Houston Texans are capable of a special kind of awful, as we’ve seen all season long. One of either ineffectual QBs Davis Mills or Tyrod Taylor will start (it doesn’t matter), and Laremy Tunsil continues to either not want to play or be held out by the Texans. Who knows? Again, it doesn’t matter... but here we are.

Let’s see how the BRB staff sees this wet, soggy slapfight playing out:

Matt Weston: Seahawks 27, Texans 13.

I don’t like to go on and on about things I don’t know. I’m trapped and under the rubble. I know everything about the Houston Texans, but not much about the rest of the league. All I know about Seattle comes from the box score. That being said, I do know Davis Mills sucks, and that Russell Wilson is typically great, and although Seattle’s offense has had problems completing deep passes, the Texans’ cornerback play should permit it.

Chris: Seahawks 27, Texans 9.

I know the Seahawks are bad, but I feel like this will be a get-well game for them. The Texans are abhorrent on offense. Just a complete sh*tshow. Why will this be any different? There will be no crowd, there will be no noise. But hey, have fun with that announced 65K attendance!

bfMFd: Seahawks 37, Texans 9.

The biggest weakness the Seahawks have this year is stopping the pass. Well, hey, the Texans can’t throw the ball. Or can they run it. Well, heck, the Texans can’t really do anything at all well offensively. Seattle is still, even if a longshot, playing for a playoff spot.

The Texans’ DDVOA continues to be fluky, and it’s just a matter of time before the defense plays down to their standards.

This will be yet another blowout that won’t seem as close as the final score shows.

l4blitzer: Seahawks 33, Texans 6.

This has not been a great season for Seattle. While still mathematically alive for a playoff berth, they are a far cry from the Legion of Boom days. Russell Wilson is likely playing his last season in front of the NFL’s 12th Man crowd (save it, Aggie Fans...this is an NFL blog) and Pete Carroll is likely off to new adventures next season. It is amazing how much can change in two years. It was then when a goal line stand proved the difference between all the NFC Super Bowl hopefuls having to go through Seattle and the Seahawks once again losing at Lambeau Field. Now, the team will be lucky to even stay in the playoff conversation for much longer.

Perhaps this will all turn into a cosmic, full-circle thing. The last time that Seattle came to Houston, it was the game that all but ended the Kubiak/Schaub era and arguably started Seattle down the path of its sole Super Bowl win/first of two straight Super Bowl appearances. That era may see its near conclusion back at the scene of the crime.

Seattle is not good and must qualify as one of the bigger disappointments this season. Yet they are playing the Texans and have a healthy Russell Wilson. With very, very few exceptions, good quarterbacks tend to do very, very well against the Texans. Couple that with a Texans offense that seems like it can’t even score more points per game than the Astros can generate runs per game, and you have a tailor-made recipe for a severe Seattle [Easterby]-whipping. Wilson throws a pick or two, but also contributes at least three touchdowns through the air, while the Texans offense doesn’t do much until they are in a garbage-time situation.

Just keep telling yourself, “There are only four more games left in this season. There are only four more games left in this season. There are only four more games left in this season. There are only four more game left in this season.”

Tim: Seahawks 24, Texans 10.

The only, and I mean the ONLY, thing I’m looking forward to about this game is that it should provide another data point in Nick Caserio’s evaluation of Davis Mills. I do not expect it to be a positive data point, but I’m all for anything that gives Caserio the basis to conclude that the Texans cannot go into 2022 with Mills as QB1 unless it’s with a highly-drafted rookie serving as QB2 for several weeks.

So there you have it. A scintillating game awaits. Or perhaps a nice portal into a Sunday afternoon nap. I mean, I don’t nap because I’m an adult, but watching the Texans, especially on offense, may as well be a roofie.

Enjoy the game and use the comments section to predict the outcome. Only four left after this week, so enjoy it while you can!